The Formerly Assh*le #1

He's always been the unfinished business to me. Maybe it's because he still has one of my favorite scarves. Maybe it was the fact that we broke up - if you can call the act of ending a largely undefined relationship breaking up to begin with - just by drifting apart and there was never a mutual word of final termination from both parties. Or maybe it's just because i'm so fixated on his cute, sculpted bubble buns. Whatever the reason, whenever i think of Josh i find myself half wishing i could still be hanging out with him to cop a feel with a smack on his rear end...

Posterior fixations and left items aside though, he was nonetheless logged on my little black book of dating (there's no such thing; my book's black and red) as "Asshole #1." That's right, this was the guy who stood me up not once, not twice, but three times and still tried to get out of it by acting like nothing wrong ever happened. Noone deserves to be treated like that. You don't do that to your friend, why do so the the girl you're dating? Most people - or at least so i believe - usually have the courtesy of letting people know when they can't make it to an appointment. Not Josh. What's worse, i got mad over this incident with the end resulthis immediate disappearance from the face of the earth. He just fell off the radar, unheard from, zip, nil, nada. Hate email, apologetic email, another hate email, drunken sms-ing, another "it's ok i forgive you just come back and it'll all be alright" email, and still not a single response. The only time i heard from him was a drunken text message with the words "ass" "fuck" and "you" within the vicinity of one another in a single sentence. Lovely.

So despite all the wrong doing, and another relationship post-Josh (which also ended not so amicably this time), I somehow found myself unable to tell him off or go f*** himself with an intercontinental ballistic missile complete with a nuclear warhead when a couple months after the incident he somehow managed to locate me on AOL messenger and dropped me a line. Quick chats later progressed into occasional emails and text messaging, and the next thing i know i was shooting pool with him like we're the bestest buddies ever.

Umm ok, shooting pool with an ex pseudo-bf doesn't deserve a blog entry. Honestly the reason this post was made was because the next thing i know i found myself: (1) soaking topless with him in the hot tub of his condo complex with his hand all over me, (2) getting busy in the sauna, and (3) spending the night at his place, involving you-know-what. And how do i feel about this? Quite ok, actually.

There's a very tiny voice inside me that's accusing me of being weak for letting him get so close as to be able to see the outline of my thong under my skirt, but that voice could easily be told to shut up. Another voice accused me of being slutty for giving in. But yet another part of me was PROUD that i got involved in all that, and i could still walk home not feeling so much as an old passion stirring for him. I was head over heels for this guy and for that reason i tolerated being treated less-than-humanely, but now i can proudly say that a lay was a lay was a lay and nothing more. I managed to decouple the sex from the affection, and by doing that i have finally successfully demystified myself from my Josh obsession: He's not that good of a lay. So why on earth was i sooooo flipping for this guy? I can easily come up with two reasons: cute face, cute butt. I suppose his love of PDA was also a big bonus. Meh. His apartment - which i finally saw, 8 months after i stopped going out with him - was a big chaotic mess, and suddenly i understood how a guy can just so easily stood a lady up: he's just lacking in his sense of responsibility is all. Oh, Josh. You're getting a notch lower in my book.

Bottomline... I'm glad we're now back in touch and no longer regarding one another with contempt, and more so because i'm now freed from my Josh spell. You're off my Assh*le list buddy, but you're sliding down the scale fast...

My new home

I moved in last night to our new home. Becky's crew did most of the moving and unpacking, except for my stuff. Pretty much everything in the communal space is supplied by Becky; it's almost like i moved into a ready-made apartment. Hahah, Matt thinks Becky could run eBay just on the things she owns right now. I'm not complaining though... It's nice not having to worry about getting things like a couch for the living room, or even measuring cups for baking.

I'm kind of afraid, though... She's young. Well, not that i'm that old, but you know that when you get older you kind of need more and more personal space? As we bid goodbye and thank you to the crew of personal movers last night, this remark was heard, "oh, don't worry. I'll be around here often so i'll see you soon..." WHAT??!! I've known Becky for two years now but honestly i don't know what her social butterfly index is like. If she is going to have her friends over often, i don't think i'll be happy at home, which is not cool. Sure i can just shut the door and tend to my own business, but that's like being trapped when you're at your own home - which is NOT the way to go.

That, and i got a feeling she can be a little messy and unorganized. She's made some plans that caused me to raise my eyebrow quite a bit the first night we settled in the house, so i can tell this whole living together thing is going to be interesting... =p

But i have faith in Becky; i think we'll be great together. Here are some pictures i took last night of the new apartment... I'm thinking of passing them along to the landlord since they look like one of those you can use to advertise your place on Craig's List, hahah.