Birthday - BFD

Poppy field by the hill, originally uploaded by shobster.

Happy 27th birthday to me, yay. Do i feel special? Not the least bit.

Don't get me wrong, i enjoyed taking time off of work (well it was a Saturday) and spending some quality time with my best buddies. I'm more than thankful for the few friends that i have, whom i love to death. I'm thankful for Ben. I do reflect on my life once in a while, and i did a little bit of that on my birthday to see how much i've accomplished in the time it takes the earth to complete its full orbit around the sun 27 times since the day i was born (which is not that much, sadly). I'm glad for yet one fewer year that i have to live through. And i think that last bit is what takes away all the fun from a birthday, in my opinion - at least as an adult.

Time's ticking. Noone lives forever. I'm getting old, and every day i'm just buying time. And i feel as though i'm not working hard enough to make that costly purchase worth it. I should be somewhere in life by now, damn it!! 27 seems like a few steps past the peak of the hill... Not too far downhill, but not exactly at the peak either. Oh no, i don't feel old, i just feel... behind. It seems as though the people around me and my friends from college or high school have all settled, either with a family and/or a career, while i'm still stuck here trying to define my goals in life and and nowhere near getting there. Sometimes i feel like telling myself, "Get on it, Woman!!!" but that still doesn't get me anywhere...

So, yeah... Birthday? BFD. I thank you and all of my friends and family deeply and whole-heartedly for all the birthday wishes and attention and affection they showered me with; they're the true reason today (well, yesterday the 22nd anyway) worth celebrating. But as far as myself is concerned, i'm not really that thrilled.

Do i sound like an old, bitter and weary soul? :-)