Post roadtrip

Illuminate, originally uploaded by shobster.

I'm happy, and not just because we had a great time while we were at it. To me the trip was a life-changing moment, even though i didn't realize it until after.

On our way to Bakersfield Ben brought up the subject of moving out to Indonesia again, and he managed to maintain a serious conversation for a good part of the drive. I was so impressed. But that's not the point, heheh. I was so happy because for the longest time this subject has not resurfaced, and i was starting to give up hope about us ever being together in the distant future. He seemed to enjoy so much his american life and all its conveniences that i really don't see him giving up all that, ever. It was starting to look like a lost cause.

But talk we did, and so happened one of my fondest memories of the trip. Us, planning a future. We discussed possible jobs that might be available for him out there. We discussed him visiting next year to get a feel of the country. We discussed us.

I would have been happy enough with just that, but it didn't end there. He sent me an email right after he got home:

"i love you so much; i could totally see myself going the distance with you..."
"i can't wait to see your homeland!!!"

And apparently he really meant it. Last night we talked again about possible game plans. How long do i have in the states? How long does he have in school? Should he change major so that it would be easier for him to find a job in Indonesia? Should we move back to the States after a number of years? We were planning our future together!!!!!

I was so happy i wanted to cry... I know it's a long shot until then, and there will be plenty of obstacles along the way, and yes i know that people change and shit happens, but for now things are looking really good. And my perspective on this relationship has changed completely. It's not a lost cause anymore. It's worth going through not just for the fun of it while it lasts, but for the promise that it holds for both of us. Ben used to be a distraction, now he's a motivation. I wanna do my best and work for our future together. I want to make it happen.

The road trip was a maker and not a breaker. I'm so glad. I love you, sweetie pie!!!!!!